Who Is Creating Problems in Your Life?
By [http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Vivek_Rajan/2397558]Vivek Rajan
You co-create your reality. You think that you and you alone are responsible for what is happening around you. This is true to a great extent, but there are a few more variables involved. Life becomes so much easier once you understand what these variables are.
Research shows us that we humans are hard wired for fairness. If someone gets more than us, we are not happy. What is more interesting is that - we will see to it that they remain unhappy too.
Researchers conducted a very fascinating experiment. In every experiment there would be two people - A and B. A would be given $100 worth of change, and he could decide how the money would be split. Once he decided the ratio in which the money would be split, it was up to B to decide if they got to keep the money or not.
An important point to note was - this was free money. A and B got to keep the money (after the experiment) if B decided that both of them could keep the money.
In many cases A decided to split the money 50/50. And B thought this was fair enough, so B decided that both of them could keep the money.
Somewhere down the line things got very interesting. In cases where A decided to split it 70/30, B decided neither would get to keep the money, even if B was getting $30 for free (of course A was getting $70 for free, which B thought wasn't fair).
Now researchers thought that people in the west didn't really care about small amounts like a hundred dollars. So they decided to conduct this experiment in third world countries, where one could buy an entire month's worth of groceries for $30.
The researchers were confident that in third world countries B would never turn down $30, even if A was getting $70. But something very weird happened.
Even in third world countries B did not want $30 (one month's groceries for free) because A had split $100 unfairly. Yes, B was getting an entire month's grocery for free, but B decided to forgo it because B thought it was unfair that A got to keep $70 (which was two months worth of groceries).
In hindsight B was shooting herself in the foot. Her reasoning should have been - it's okay if A keeps $70, with the $30 I have, I can at least I can feed my family this month (without stressing myself out) or I can do something special for them.
We think we're saints but this experiment shows very clearly that we're hard wired for fairness. Or in other words, we will prevent other people from being happy or succeeding, if they're going to experience far higher levels of happiness or success than what we are currently experiencing.
Your environment (success or failure) is influenced by your energy as well as the energy of your family members, friends and colleagues at work. Consciously they may say good things about you, but subconsciously, it's the opposite. It happens automatically, it's not their fault. But you need to be aware of this. The inner energy (until you become aware of it) is too powerful to override.
This is what is going on deep within us - as long as you are suffering with me, I am happy. If I am suffering but you are not, then I will see to it that you suffer too.
This brings us to the conclusion that you must choose your environments and the people around you very carefully. Make a list (on paper) of everyone you know and ask yourself if they genuinely want to see you happy? If the answer is negative then stay away from them. How do you ascertain whether they have your true interests at heart? It's very simple. There is a saying - Actions speak louder than words. Those who don't want to see you succeed will do things that will betray their inner thoughts, they will do the opposite of what they say.
When you're single or divorced, it's highly likely that you're surrounded by people who are single or divorced. Like attracts like and there's nothing wrong with it. So when that someone special enters your life, remember that those who are single or divorced are hard-wired for fairness.
If they're single then subconsciously (on the surface it's all smiles) they're not happy when you find someone. And without their knowledge or your knowledge they sabotage your relationship with your special someone. Just their negative thoughts (they don't even have to verbalize it) create problems in your relationship with your life partner.
This may come as a shocker but your own mother or father may be creating problems because you're dating someone so amazing. For all you know they never had such an opportunity, and since they're hard wired for fairness just like everyone else, they subconsciously sabotage your relationship.
Now, I am aware of the fact that some of you may have a wonderful relationship with your parents. But if you're not close to mom or dad, or you've been away from home for a long time, and you're thoughts don't match with theirs anymore (you're on a completely different wavelength) then it's best to keep your lover a secret until it's time to get married.
When I mention this experiment to my students, almost all of them are able to recall an incident, where their best friend or someone really close to them, did something or said something that made no sense whatsoever (when my students were in a relationship that their near and dear ones didn't like). They remember how it affected them, how it sowed those first seeds of doubt, and how the relationship crumbled before they had any clue about what was really going on.
Again, in some cases the advice is relevant. But more often than not the fairness syndrome kicks in, and your near and dear ones will do whatever it takes to keep the status quo.
At http://www.iwantalifepartner.com you will find a rare set of tools and information that will guide you to your life partner in a guaranteed and time bound manner. You can also mail me at vivek at iwantalfepartner dot com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Who-Is-Creating-Problems-in-Your-Life?&id=9667833] Who Is Creating Problems in Your Life?
By [http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Vivek_Rajan/2397558]Vivek Rajan
You co-create your reality. You think that you and you alone are responsible for what is happening around you. This is true to a great extent, but there are a few more variables involved. Life becomes so much easier once you understand what these variables are.
Research shows us that we humans are hard wired for fairness. If someone gets more than us, we are not happy. What is more interesting is that - we will see to it that they remain unhappy too.
Researchers conducted a very fascinating experiment. In every experiment there would be two people - A and B. A would be given $100 worth of change, and he could decide how the money would be split. Once he decided the ratio in which the money would be split, it was up to B to decide if they got to keep the money or not.
An important point to note was - this was free money. A and B got to keep the money (after the experiment) if B decided that both of them could keep the money.
In many cases A decided to split the money 50/50. And B thought this was fair enough, so B decided that both of them could keep the money.
Somewhere down the line things got very interesting. In cases where A decided to split it 70/30, B decided neither would get to keep the money, even if B was getting $30 for free (of course A was getting $70 for free, which B thought wasn't fair).
Now researchers thought that people in the west didn't really care about small amounts like a hundred dollars. So they decided to conduct this experiment in third world countries, where one could buy an entire month's worth of groceries for $30.
The researchers were confident that in third world countries B would never turn down $30, even if A was getting $70. But something very weird happened.
Even in third world countries B did not want $30 (one month's groceries for free) because A had split $100 unfairly. Yes, B was getting an entire month's grocery for free, but B decided to forgo it because B thought it was unfair that A got to keep $70 (which was two months worth of groceries).
In hindsight B was shooting herself in the foot. Her reasoning should have been - it's okay if A keeps $70, with the $30 I have, I can at least I can feed my family this month (without stressing myself out) or I can do something special for them.
We think we're saints but this experiment shows very clearly that we're hard wired for fairness. Or in other words, we will prevent other people from being happy or succeeding, if they're going to experience far higher levels of happiness or success than what we are currently experiencing.
Your environment (success or failure) is influenced by your energy as well as the energy of your family members, friends and colleagues at work. Consciously they may say good things about you, but subconsciously, it's the opposite. It happens automatically, it's not their fault. But you need to be aware of this. The inner energy (until you become aware of it) is too powerful to override.
This is what is going on deep within us - as long as you are suffering with me, I am happy. If I am suffering but you are not, then I will see to it that you suffer too.
This brings us to the conclusion that you must choose your environments and the people around you very carefully. Make a list (on paper) of everyone you know and ask yourself if they genuinely want to see you happy? If the answer is negative then stay away from them. How do you ascertain whether they have your true interests at heart? It's very simple. There is a saying - Actions speak louder than words. Those who don't want to see you succeed will do things that will betray their inner thoughts, they will do the opposite of what they say.
When you're single or divorced, it's highly likely that you're surrounded by people who are single or divorced. Like attracts like and there's nothing wrong with it. So when that someone special enters your life, remember that those who are single or divorced are hard-wired for fairness.
If they're single then subconsciously (on the surface it's all smiles) they're not happy when you find someone. And without their knowledge or your knowledge they sabotage your relationship with your special someone. Just their negative thoughts (they don't even have to verbalize it) create problems in your relationship with your life partner.
This may come as a shocker but your own mother or father may be creating problems because you're dating someone so amazing. For all you know they never had such an opportunity, and since they're hard wired for fairness just like everyone else, they subconsciously sabotage your relationship.
Now, I am aware of the fact that some of you may have a wonderful relationship with your parents. But if you're not close to mom or dad, or you've been away from home for a long time, and you're thoughts don't match with theirs anymore (you're on a completely different wavelength) then it's best to keep your lover a secret until it's time to get married.
When I mention this experiment to my students, almost all of them are able to recall an incident, where their best friend or someone really close to them, did something or said something that made no sense whatsoever (when my students were in a relationship that their near and dear ones didn't like). They remember how it affected them, how it sowed those first seeds of doubt, and how the relationship crumbled before they had any clue about what was really going on.
Again, in some cases the advice is relevant. But more often than not the fairness syndrome kicks in, and your near and dear ones will do whatever it takes to keep the status quo.
At http://www.iwantalifepartner.com you will find a rare set of tools and information that will guide you to your life partner in a guaranteed and time bound manner. You can also mail me at vivek at iwantalfepartner dot com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Who-Is-Creating-Problems-in-Your-Life?&id=9667833] Who Is Creating Problems in Your Life?
No comments:
Post a Comment